Alright, here we go. The West Virginia Legislature isn’t content to work toward any fixes on all the multitudinous problems we now face in this backward-ass state that me and my family have the grand misfortune to reside in on certain days of the year like this one. Our Republican legislators are more concerned about racking up lame-ass political points by picking on trans kids and persecuting people who account for less than 4% of the population.

What really cracks the bat on their latest legislative regurgitation is these bush league t-ballers are dumb enough to push past the national narrative, to really outdo themselves, by actually trying to make genital inspections a thing.

I mean, really, they were shootin’ for the moon on Senate Bill 456, which Governor Patrick Morrisey signed into law as the Riley Gaines Act. Ugh. And deep in that legislative dickery, they went so far as to try and mandate school genital inspections without parental consent, at one point even tinkering on how to force that on adults as well. What’s next, push beyond the bounty laws in Texas and legalize public depantsing?

Either way, do we really want a school health official pulling kids’ underwear down to check if they get a pass to the bathroom of their choice? Whatever happened to policing behaviors instead of groups? If you’re an idiot, no doubt, of course your answer is: “Yes, Mrs. American Apostate, I trust school health officials to inspect our children’s privates!”

Eww. Gross. And…

Get real. They also say they want to make sure schools tell you if your kid suddenly wants to use some “illogical” pronouns, as if behind this and the forced outings there is any other goal than to humiliate people, in addition to killing off their rights to self-affirming medical care. That is just another way of saying they want to actually murder trans kids, since the logical end to this is suicide for many of our youth.

They know that. They know exactly what they are doing.

For that’s what “gender” is, people. It’s an expression of the self. To kill that is to murder another’s personhood. Also, gender is free fucking speech. It’s the basic right to self-determining one’s destiny. But they want to take it away, along with medical privacy and the ability to compete in group events with people who simply resemble your own basic likeness. Whereas we should be desegregating sports entirely, we’re banning trans folx instead - further sharpening an unnecessary line between sexes. This is largely the same group of legislators who like to bandy on about the notion of a “Women’s Bill of Rights,” which does nothing to further establish rights and protections. It mostly serves to reduce women to the definition of “ovum producers.”

What’s more absurd than scapegoating trans visibility and accessibility is the wedge it drives toward segregating off spaces in what is a thinly-veiled assault on women’s access. Believe me when I tell you the language here is insidious and Orwellian. It evokes the likes of Jim Crow thinking, and it’s only the start toward making arguments for separate men’s and women’s spaces in other ways, and to telling people where and what they have access to in private businesses and public facilities alike.

Don’t believe me? Just check out these gems of backward thought, all wrapped in the common man’s flawed logic as if these were tidy koans of “immutable” truth. For this is SB456 in its finery—

§5-32-2. Findings. (“Findings?” Ha! Already we’re in the realm of the Lord of Laughs. I mean, really, who writes this shit and takes themselves seriously with what follows…)

(a) Males and females are legally equal, but they are not biologically the same.

Really? You found this out how? Well, if we all were legally equal, we would just have bathrooms. Not for men or women. Just bathrooms… for all.

Not withstanding this distasteful invocation of “separate but equal” segregationist logic, genetics informs us that men and women are actually 99.9% biologically the same. Also, endocrinology proves that changing an individual’s hormone balance triggers dormant gene expressions, suppresses gonadally prevalent ones, to effectively give a person the biological expression of the opposite sex — basically making them the person they would’ve been had they not been born with the gonads they were given.

Of course, there is no reversing the development of breasts or the broadening of one’s shoulders, say, nor the changes to one’s facial features that go with undergoing puberty, which is why those blockers are so essential as a form of preventative healthcare.

While estrogen and testosterone do trigger certain physical expressions of our human genome, the basic coding is the same regardless of sexual anatomy. For it is as the roughly 6,000 year-old proverb accounting for the powers of a particular goddess states: it is very much possible to “change a man into a woman and a woman into man.” The modern day formula for it? Hormone therapy!

Yeah. Hormones are the magical cipher to unlocking freedom of sexpression. Gender affirming care is the alchemy by which this is done.

When women pass through menopause, estrogen levels drop, and they may develop something akin to male pattern baldness. When elderly men, in kind, stop producing adequate levels of testosterone, they can develop breasts. Is this not at least a subtle hint at our physical equivalence? Seriously, if you can’t naturally produce enough of one hormone to suppress the other, you will start to become the likeness of your genetic other half. I mean, sure, my prostate is not in the same place as my wife’s, and her clitoris, even over time under influence of testosterone, will only resemble a gherkin compared to my… well, you know. But man is it lovely when we rub our fleshy hips and nips together!

As for social behaviors and the many interactions that attend one’s sex, that set of attributes and characteristics known as “gender” is proven by The Sociology (gasps) via the hard science of studying actual behavioral patterns over time and across cultures, to be largely performative and independent of one’s gonads or sexual preference.

For example, there are cases to show that hyper-heterosexuals have often dressed and behaved like women in order to attract the company of women. But there is little historical or even contemporaneous evidence to suggest men do so in order to rape or violate women. It is also culturally evidential that the so-called “man’s man” is really a homoerotic male. Sorry, bros, you alphas are way too concerned about impressing your boys.

Furthermore, people ignore the fact that it requires an enormous amount of discipline, often punishment and forced assimilation along with psychological violence, to convert individuals to the gender that their society believes should be assigned to them according to their gonads.

And if you don’t believe me, just go ask Jo Jo from Jersey—>

Link here.

Back to SB456…

(b) Males and females possess unique and immutable biological differences that manifest prior to birth and increase as they age and experience puberty.

Women have long been proving that this is simply not true. If you don’t believe it, ask them! They all secretly know that they are equal, if not better, than men—at many things. This is often true because men take for granted their status as super-predators, so they don’t work nearly as hard for every scrap of dignity women do. To put it bluntly, a large percentage of dudes are plain fucking lazy. They don’t make the bed, they don’t do their laundry, they don’t cook or ever take care of children, and half the time they don’t even write the checks anymore. They’re lazy about self-care, and most of them eat poorly and die too soon because of it. Just ‘cause you piddle around in the yard, drink beer on your lawnmower, and tinker in the shed or rearrange your widgets in the garage, does not make you a worker.

(c) These unique and immutable biological differences mean that females and males are not similarly situated in all circumstances and are not interchangeable.

Nah. Pretty much in any situation where you got a man doing a thing, you could just as easily pinch hit a pussy owner. Literally the only case scenario where these fuckers can point to irreplaceability is in the act of impregnating women, which they make the stupid point of mentioning in their legislation in paragraph g, where they hammer on about the “biological ability to impregnate women” and how males, “on average,” are “physically larger and stronger than women.” To think they took the time to write this with your tax money! It kind of sort of reminds me of a terrible college essay my friend once paid for. Yeah, well, while women do basically need some dude to donate a sperm, at least these dipturds can’t self-replicate with a womb. Try replacing that, you asshats!

(d) Inconsistencies in court rulings and policy initiatives regarding sex discrimination and common sex-based words have endangered women's rights and resources and have put the existence of private, single-sex spaces in jeopardy, thereby necessitating clarification of certain terms used in this code.

The primary endangerment to women’s rights, and those putting resources into ensuring the continued existence of exclusionary practices that aren’t in jeopardy, is men. What, they don’t want trans women to claim harassment in the workplace? And they don’t want government to recognize us as women, so they don’t have to litigate any of the issues where gender also becomes too confusing for their courts to decide whether we deserve the treatments we are getting?

The problem—and they know it—is that none of what they are writing into law has any teeth, let alone does it make much sense. There is just no power or process to exact penalties against any of us for violating this provision, and really no way of enforcing it.

The only answer? Genital inspections.

Yep. I can hear the words: “Let us have a little look-see, ma’am.” Because at one point they tinkered with lifting the language that would make universal dacking a thing we all might suffer, not just something done to children under the legality of a school health official in a private office somewhere.

If any of this is grossing you out, well it should.

‘Cause what happens when one of their own sons or daughters is brought into the school health office, and a licensed professional has them pull down their pants without parental consent? What happens to one of their wives, who don’t always pass too well for women themselves, when you start to give citizens license to challenge any old person standing next to them in queue at the public loo? What happens when cis women end up having to hike up their skirts just to prove it? Do we start doing inspections at the DMV? Why is it even a marker on our licenses to begin with? I can hear it now—

“Claims to be a woman, officer, but conceal carries a cock!”

“Claims to be a dude, does in fact pack a pussy!”

What fucking difference does it make?

What’s worse, who does the job of private(s) inspection? What kind of psychological screening do you give someone who is going to be inspecting pubes in public spaces for a living? And how do you guarantee that the inspectors have the correct genitals? Who inspects the genital inspectors? Oh my gods, what happens if a trans person infiltrates the pecker inspection department?!

Better question yet, why is sex even on any of our documentation?!

Seriously, though. What happens is a trans individual suffers forced outing and exposure at the hands of the state, which violates their right to privacy and is in itself an act of indecency. What happens is we end up doing the thing most people would do if they ever had to suffer public humiliation. We go and commit suicide. Or we get shamed and forced to live a double life as someone we don’t want to be. Or if we’re smart and our survival instincts are strong, we end up living out our lives as unhappy, repressed human beings, who maybe run for office on the ticket of suppressing other human beings of their natural-born instincts. Maybe? Maybe that’s what’s wrong with at least some of our legislators?

Because this is a natural-born instinct. I don’t know why I have a supposed medical condition, or why I’ve wanted to play as a girl ever since I was three and can remember being me. But I am. I’m a natural-born, trans-loving, good old pecker-powered member of the new womanhood.

But the truth is that I, a 6’4” Goliath of a gal, am far more likely to suffer the harassment and violence in a men’s bathroom than a women’s. And despite my appearance, it is my goal to always make the women around me feel at ease and comfortable. I love and adore the gender to which I belong. I want women as friends, coworkers, and as the one I happen to have as a spouse. I would be glad if my son someday aspired to be a gal. It’s a tough job! It comes with tons of funny old concerns and funnily odd accoutrements to boot. (Ladies, you know what I mean.)

And I am a woman because I also know what it’s like to feel unsafe. I live in a state that so readily wants to legalize forced exposure, and that’s a very short road to rape. Don’t believe me? Just ask those Florida gals in correctional facilities who are being forced to de-transition and move to men’s facilities. You think they aren’t prime targets for rape? You think there isn’t rape culture in our police forces, our military, our boarding schools, churches, and camps? Trans people are significantly more likely to be on the receiving end of harassment and assault.

What’s far worse, states like Texas actually want to make it illegal to even claim to be the opposite sex on government documents, punishable by jail. So that when they jail us, we can undergo a forced de-transition, all while possibly getting raped by guards or fellow inmates in a men’s fucking facility. A facility full of men, run by men, and dominated by male aggression and sexual angst.

Yeah, maybe you don’t care about taking away the rights of adolescents to undergo care that blocks unwanted puberty and the ugly sex characteristics they feel don’t express their true sense of identity and being. Maybe you think hormone replacement and sexual reassignment are just an abomination of nature. Maybe you even think that if you’re own kid were queer-leaning or odd, you’d like the school to go ahead and let you know, to call them out for it during some parent-teacher meeting. Maybe you think pronouns are just an immutable truth of our human nature.

Has anyone left room for being wrong in these regards?

What you don’t know is what it will feel like when the safety of everyone you love is compromised, all because we thought none of us has a right to conceal carry what we have in our underwear, as if genitals were the weapon and not the person wielding it. As if we all don’t have a right to keep other people out of our fucking panties, even if we wield a tucked little something, hidden well away down there.

Facts. The vast majority of sexual violence and harassment is committed by cisgender men. It’s why we trans women don’t want to share bathrooms with them. You guys are fundamentally fucking unsafe. Only a bunch of rapists would get off on the altogether sick idea of legislating genital inspections. But that seems to be what we have a fair share of in the legislatures of many of our fair states. Well, then…

Country roads… take me home… to the place where I be………. hmph.

Signing off,

Your Trans Mountain Mama