Listen up, you magnificent bastards! I'm throwing down a challenge that'll make your brain cells do burnouts like a teenager with daddy's sports car. What god-awful, probably rust-bucket piece of automotive history did I terrorize my college campus with? I'm talking make, model, year AND color of the four-wheeled disaster that carried my broke ass through those hallowed halls of education. This wasn't just transportation—it was a rolling testament to poor life choices and even poorer maintenance habits that somehow didn't kill me despite sounding like a drowning chainsaw every damn morning.

The brilliant detective who correctly guesses this vehicular catastrophe wins a 90-day paid comp to the publication plus a guest-starring role in a live session held that very same day! So rack your brains, you wonderful weirdos. Was it a shit-brown station wagon with more dents than a golf ball? A neon monstrosity that screamed "my parents hate me"? Or perhaps something so spectacularly ordinary it loops back around to extraordinary? Dig deep into your automotive nightmares and take your best shot—because nothing says "I've made it in life" quite like fondly remembering the rolling garbage can that once defined your existence! First Comment that gets it is the winner.