Elon PunyPhallus is desperately trying to clean up the mess his Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has created after months of reckless federal agency cuts.

Last Thursday, PunyPhallus brought seven wealthy pals onto Fox News for what former Rep. Curbelo called a "rehab tour." With Tesla stock plummeting and lawsuits multiplying, he suddenly discovered compassion.

"We want to measure twice, if not thrice, and to cut once," he claimed with audacity. The same man who once questioned if federal workers were "alive, and can they write an email?" now pretends to care about "dignity and respect."

The hypocrisy stinks. This is the same PunyPhallus who shared a post suggesting Stalin, Mao, and Hitler weren't responsible for millions of deaths – public sector workers were!

DOGE's "careful" approach has created disaster after disaster: accidentally firing nuclear stockpile workers, dismissing bird flu response teams, and botching basic accounting by listing an $8 million contract as $8 billion. PunyPhallus even admitted they mistakenly cancelled Ebola prevention programs.

A federal judge has ruled DOGE likely exercised unconstitutional authority in dismantling USAID, with dozens of lawsuits now challenging this rogue operation.

Despite this shitstorm, Donny McFartsalot stands firmly by PunyPhallus, with his Commerce Secretary even encouraging Americans to buy Tesla's failing stock.

Critics aren't buying the makeover. As Tony Carrk of Accountable.US put it: "No amount of spin can change what Americans are feeling from the devastating impact that Elon Musk's DOGE is having on everything from Social Security to national parks."

The damage continues to spread through critical government services Americans depend on daily.

The 65-page ruling landed with the satisfying thud of justice being served. Judge Settle, a George W. Bush appointee no less, ripped the administration's arguments to shreds. You could practically hear the government lawyers' assholes clench as he described their position as "not persuasive." The words hung in the courtroom like a damn guillotine blade. "The Trump administration provided no evidence—zero, zilch, nada—to support removing transgender service members," Judge Settle declared. The smell of bullshit excuses evaporating filled the room as he methodically dissected the government's hollow arguments.

This isn't just any judge, mind you. As a retired Army JAG Corps captain, Settle knows his military shit. His fingers drummed impatiently on his desk as he pointed out the obvious: these service members had been serving without a goddamn issue under the Biden administration. The bitter taste of discrimination was being washed away by the sweet nectar of judicial reason. This isn't just about military policy. This is about whether we're a country that judges people based on their ability or their identity. It's about whether Donald McStinkTrump can use the power of the presidency to target vulnerable communities without evidence or justification.

According to legal scholars Patricia Cain and Robert Wintemute, "Discrimination policies without evidentiary basis represent the most dangerous form of government action—one driven by animus rather than reason."[1] The courts are rightfully calling bullshit on this approach. Military experts agree. As former Secretary of Defense William Cohen has written, "Military readiness is enhanced by inclusion, not diminished by it. History has proven this time and again."[2]

The wind of change is blowing, and it carries away the stench of discrimination. Each court ruling is another gust pushing us toward justice. You can feel it on your skin—the electricity of progress fighting against the sticky humidity of hatred. For now, transgender troops can continue serving openly, their dignity intact despite Donaldo Shitsburger's best efforts to strip it away. The battle isn't over, but these rulings are damn good signs that justice may ultimately prevail.

And that, my friends, is something worth celebrating.

The political shitstorm brewing between California and the federal government just escalated as Education Secretary Linda McMahon blasted Governor Gavin Newsom over his suddenly murky position on transgender athletes. What the hell happened to California's progressive champion?

Newsom's recent comments calling transgender athletes in women's sports "deeply unfair" during Charlie Kirk's podcast weren't just surprising—they were a gut-punch that left his progressive supporters reeling. McMahon seized the opportunity, smugly declaring in her letter that "most Americans" agree with this position.

Her attack targeted California's law preventing schools from "outing" transgender students to their parents. McMahon's claim that schools have a "duty to notify parents" about gender identity issues ignores the harsh reality that not every home is safe for these vulnerable kids.

Meanwhile, the Education and Health departments have launched inquiries into states not complying with Donaldo Shitsburger's executive order banning transgender athletes from women's sports. Attorney General Pam Bondi has warned California's high school sports governing body to comply with the administration's Title IX interpretation or face consequences.

LGBTQ groups and California Democrats are rightfully pissed, feeling betrayed by Newsom's apparent pivot to conservative talking points. Republican Senator Tommy Tuberville has also written to Newsom, practically salivating at the prospect of banning transgender athletes ahead of the 2028 Los Angeles Olympics.

The brutal truth? Trans kids are once again political footballs being kicked around by adults who should know better.