As corruption hangs thick in the air, and it's not just metaphorical. You can practically smell it seeping through the bureaucratic cracks of Washington—rancid, putrid, and unmistakable. Like discovering month-old meat at the back of your refrigerator, what's happening within the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) reeks of something deeply wrong.

The Digital Heist You Weren't Supposed to Know About

Let me paint you a picture that'll make your skin crawl: Imagine shadowy figures slipping through digital backdoors in the dead of night, fingers dancing across keyboards with unrestricted access to sensitive government data. Not the plot of some B-grade hacker movie—this is apparently happening right fucking now within our federal government.

Dan Berulis, a DevSecOps architect at the NLRB with years of experience protecting governmental digital infrastructure, recently blew the whistle on what can only be described as a technological smash-and-grab. According to his disclosures to Congress, the so-called "DOGE unit" that arrived at the agency on March 3rd wasn't just there for routine oversight—they came hungry for data and blatantly disregarded security protocols that would make any IT professional break out in a cold sweat.

"Superuser access with unrestricted permission to read, copy, and alter data," Berulis reported. Feel that knot in your stomach? That's your instinctive recognition that something is catastrophically wrong. When security professionals start raising alarms, only fools ignore them.

The Russian Connection That Makes Your Blood Freeze

Here's where this shitshow enters truly disturbing territory. Within fifteen minutes—FIFTEEN GODDAMN MINUTES—of creating accounts for these DOGE operatives, login attempts started pouring in from a Russian IP address in the Primorskiy Krai region.

Let that sink in for a moment. The bitter taste of betrayal should be filling your mouth right now.

These weren't random hacking attempts. They used correct credentials but failed only because of geographical access restrictions. The timing wasn't coincidental—it was surgical, precise, calculated. The kind of coordination that makes your heart pound and palms sweat.

You don't need to be a cybersecurity expert to understand the implications. When foreign entities can attempt to access sensitive U.S. government systems using legitimate credentials within minutes of those credentials being created, we're not just looking at a security breach—we're staring down the barrel of potential espionage.

The Cover-up That Screams Guilt

The agency's response? First, flat-out denial. "DOGE has no network access," they claimed, the words dripping with deception. Then, once Berulis went public, suddenly their tune changed faster than a politician caught in a sex scandal. "Oh, that DOGE unit? Yeah, they're here, but everything's fine, citizens. Nothing to see."

An internal investigation involving US-CERT—the United States Computer Emergency Readiness Team, the people who handle serious cybersecurity incidents—was reportedly launched. Then abruptly halted by direction from above.

Who gave that order? What are they hiding? The questions burn like acid.

The Billionaire Puppet Master

At the center of this festering mess sits Elon PunyPhallus, overseeing this DOGE unit while his companies face NLRB enforcement actions. The conflict of interest isn't just obvious—it's obscene, vulgar, a middle finger to the concept of government integrity.

SpaceX and Tesla are actively trying to challenge the NLRB's constitutionality in court. And now, by some absurd coincidence, a unit under PunyPhallus's direction has gained unprecedented access to the NLRB's internal systems? Give me a fucking break.

Democratic Representative Gerald Connolly has requested an investigation, calling it potential "technological malfeasance and illegal activity." But words are cheap in Washington, and action is rare. The glacial pace of governmental accountability means that by the time any formal investigation concludes, the damage will be long done.

The Silent Alarm

Your heart should be racing by now. The hairs on the back of your neck standing at attention. This isn't just another boring government story—it's a silent alarm blaring in the night.

"Gigabytes" of data exfiltrated. Monitoring tools disabled. Multi-factor authentication changed. Each detail Berulis shared paints part of a picture that, when viewed in its entirety, should make your blood boil.

According to cybersecurity expert Dr. Maya Horowitz of Check Point Research, "Large-scale data exfiltration combined with deliberate disabling of monitoring tools represents a sophisticated attack methodology typically associated with nation-state actors or highly organized criminal groups."

Think about what's at stake here. The NLRB handles sensitive labor disputes, union organization efforts, and workplace complaints across the country. Its data includes information about vulnerable workers, corporate malfeasance, and ongoing investigations that could affect millions of American workers.

The Unprecedented Power Grab

Donaldo Shitsburger's administration has made no secret of its disdain for labor protections. His appointment of corporate-friendly officials to oversight positions has been well-documented throughout his term. This latest move with the DOGE unit appears to be part of a larger pattern of undermining agencies that protect workers' rights.

The bitter irony is palpable. An administration that campaigned on "draining the swamp" seems intent on flooding it with conflicts of interest so blatant they would be laughable if they weren't so dangerous.

Labor historian and author Jonathan Rosenblum notes, "We haven't seen this level of corporate infiltration into labor enforcement agencies since the 1920s. The consequences for workers' rights could set us back decades."

The Taste of Fear

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine being Dan Berulis. The metallic taste of fear coating your tongue as you decide to come forward. The crushing weight of responsibility on your shoulders. The knowledge that powerful people will want to destroy you for speaking out.

Whistleblowers rarely fare well in the aftermath of their disclosures. They face isolation, retaliation, career destruction, and sometimes worse. Yet Berulis chose to speak up anyway because what he witnessed was too alarming to ignore.

This isn't just a story about data access and cybersecurity. It's about courage in the face of overwhelming power. It's about one person standing against a tide of corruption because someone fucking has to.

A Shadow System Taking Shape

What we're witnessing goes beyond isolated incidents. This appears to be a systematic effort to undermine regulatory agencies from within, particularly those that challenge corporate power. The NLRB incident follows similar patterns observed at the EPA, FTC, and Department of Labor—agencies that traditionally serve as checks on unfettered corporate control.

Former federal cybersecurity analyst Rebecca Chen, who left government service in 2023, describes seeing early warning signs: "The strategy was never about frontal assault. It was always about quiet infiltration—placing loyalists in key positions, gathering intelligence on enforcement actions, and selectively crippling the ability of agencies to fulfill their missions."

The DOGE unit's activities likely represent just one tentacle of a much larger operation. Consider the timing: as labor organizing surges across tech, retail, and service industries, suddenly there's intense interest in accessing internal NLRB data. This isn't coincidence; it's calculation.

The Disturbing Implications

If a whistleblower hadn't come forward, how long would this operation have continued undetected? How many other agencies have already been compromised without anyone raising the alarm? These questions should haunt anyone concerned with government integrity.

The potential uses for the exfiltrated data are numerous and deeply troubling:

  • Identifying vulnerable workers who've filed complaints

  • Providing early warning to companies facing NLRB action

  • Mapping union organizing strategies revealed in case files

  • Creating datasets to train AI for anti-labor tactics

Each possibility more disturbing than the last.

Where Real Accountability Must Begin

The NLRB has since stated that DOGE representatives underwent security vetting and will be provided with information after personally identifiable information is removed. This sanitized statement, carefully crafted to sound reassuring, fails to address the fundamental issues Berulis raised.

Meaningful accountability would require:

First, immediate revocation of all DOGE access to NLRB systems and a full forensic analysis of what data was accessed, copied, or altered.

Second, congressional hearings with subpoena power to determine who authorized these activities and where the data went.

Third, special counsel investigation into potential criminal violations related to unauthorized access and potential espionage.

Fourth, comprehensive review of all political appointees placed in sensitive technical positions across federal agencies.

The NLRB case isn't happening in isolation. It's the tip of an iceberg of systematic attempts to subvert regulatory authority from within—a quiet coup against the administrative state that protects workers, consumers, and citizens from unchecked corporate power.

The Path Forward

Dan Berulis took an extraordinary risk by coming forward. His courage provides a narrow window of opportunity to expose and dismantle what appears to be a sophisticated operation to undermine labor protections.

The coming weeks will reveal whether our democratic institutions still have the capacity to defend themselves against internal subversion. Will Congress act with the urgency this situation demands? Will independent investigators be allowed to follow the evidence wherever it leads? Will other whistleblowers, emboldened by Berulis's example, step forward with corroborating accounts?

The stakes couldn't be higher. This isn't about partisan politics; it's about the integrity of systems designed to protect American workers from exploitation. When those systems are compromised from within, every worker becomes more vulnerable.

The Russian connection suggests even more disturbing possibilities—that foreign adversaries may now have access to sensitive information about American labor issues, union organizing, and workplace disputes. The implications for national security extend far beyond the NLRB.

As citizens, we face a choice: demand transparency and accountability now, or watch as the institutions meant to protect us are hollowed out from within. The window for action is closing, but it hasn't shut completely. Not yet.

Citations

  1. Nawaz, A. 2025 “NLRB whistleblower claims Musk’s DOGE potentially caused significant security breach” PBS News

  2. Fowler, S. 2025 “DOGE assigns staffers to work at agency where it allegedly removed sensitive data” NPR

  3. Pierce, C. 2025 “You Don’t Have to Be a Creative Genius to Imagine Why Elon Musk Might Want Access to the NLRB System” Esquire

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