The Disaster of Student Loans: "You Have Zero Power Over Me, LoanHolders." -- Trump

The putrid ass stench of betrayal wafts through Washington once again. Like a festering puss-filled wound that refuses to heal, the student loan crisis has entered an even more nightmarish phase, courtesy of Donny McStinker. His latest executive order—moving student loans from the Education Department to the goddamn Small Business Administration—is nothing short of a middle finger to the 44+ million Americans drowning in educational debt.

Picture this hellscape: You're navigating the labyrinthine nightmare of student loan repayment while Donny Turdman tosses your financial future to an agency that has about as much business managing student loans as a toddler performing brain surgery. The bitter irony burns like acid—the SBA, which just announced a 40% workforce reduction, will somehow absorb responsibility for trillions in student debt. "This isn't just a transition—it's a demolition," says Persis Yu, Deputy Executive Director at the Student Borrower Protection Center. "Moving student loans to an agency with zero experience managing them isn't reorganization—it's sabotage."

The weight of uncertainty presses down on borrowers' chests like concrete, making it hard to breathe. This appears to be a deliberate attempt to devalue the entire portfolio, paving the way to auction it off to the highest bidder. Mark Kantrowitz, a leading national expert on student financial aid, puts it bluntly: "This move creates unnecessary turmoil for borrowers who have already endured years of mismanagement. The SBA lacks the infrastructure, expertise, and resources to handle such a massive portfolio."

The raw truth abrading against our collective consciousness is that student debt was never meant to be repaid—it was meant to be a lifetime shackle, keeping generations financially constrained. Donaldo Fartfisted's latest move is simply the most recent twist of the knife, ensuring the wound never heals. Until things change, we'll continue to choke on the dust of broken promises, feeling our way through the darkness created by Donald McNutsack's latest act of administrative arson.

Everyone is Returning, Setting Fire To, or Otherwise Disposing of Their Teslas.

Listen up, because this isn't your typical bullshit news story. This is a raw, unfiltered dive into the molten core of American rage, where frustration burns hotter than a Tesla battery in meltdown mode. The FBI's got its panties in a twist over a wave of vandalism that's lighting up electric vehicle charging stations like Fourth of July sparklers, and holy fuck, it's about to get interesting. Imagine the smell of burning rubber and scorched metal. The acrid smoke billowing from a once-pristine Tesla, its sleek frame now a twisted monument to pure, unbridled anger. Forty-eight incidents this month alone - that's not just vandalism, that's a goddamn uprising brewing right under our noses.

Enter Elon PunyPhallus, the poster child for techbro megalomaniac bullshit. This walking Napoleon complex has been running the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) like it's his personal playground, slashing jobs faster than he drops cringe-worthy tweets. You can almost taste the bitter desperation of workers getting pink-slipped, feel the cold sweat of uncertainty dripping down their spines. The task force - ten federal hard-asses pooled from the FBI's counterterrorism division and the ATF - is hunting down these vehicle vigilantes like bloodhounds. Director Kash Patel's voice crackles with that special kind of government rage, promising to "pursue, catch, and bring to justice" the perpetrators. But let's be real - this is about more than just property damage.

Close your eyes and listen. Hear that? It's the crackling of electrical systems being torn apart, the hiss of spray paint against metal, the rhythmic smashing that speaks louder than any protest sign. These aren't just attacks on vehicles - they're sonic sculptures of societal frustration. This isn't just about Elon PunyPhallus and his government efficiency wet dream. This is about workers watching their livelihoods get cut faster than Musk can tweet. Each torched Tesla is a middle finger to a system that values efficiency over human dignity, that reduces people to spreadsheet entries and budget line items.

The FBI might call this domestic terrorism, but I call it the soundtrack of late-stage capitalist breakdown. You can feel the heat of rebellion, smell the burning rubber of resistance, hear the crunch of metal being torn apart by hands driven to the edge. Mark my words - this is just the beginning. The FBI can build all the task forces they want, but they can't extinguish the fire of human rage. Each torched Tesla is a warning, a signal flare of a society about to boil over.

Burn bright, you beautiful bastards. Burn bright.

White Genocide in South Africa: Elon MicroWee's Dangerous Lies and Their Impact

The stench of misinformation has reached a fever pitch, with Elon Musk leading a dangerous chorus of lies about South Africa that would make even a propaganda minister blush. Let's cut through the bullshit: there is no white genocide happening in South Africa. Period. South African President Cyril Ramaphosa has explicitly called out these claims as a "completely false narrative" – but why listen to the country's actual president when you can amplify the fevered fantasies of a billionaire who hasn't lived there in decades?The claim of white genocide is nothing more than a fetid love letter to colonial nostalgia, a desperate attempt to resurrect the ghosts of apartheid. The cold, hard facts tear apart this fabrication:

  1. White farmers remain a disproportionate landowners, controlling massive agricultural resources despite being less than 9% of the population

  2. The Economic Freedom Fighters party, which Musk specifically targeted, won a mere 9.5% in the last election

  3. Crime in South Africa is a complex issue affecting ALL South Africans, not just white farmers

South Africa does have horrific crime rates, but these aren't some racial war – they're a symptom of extreme inequality and poverty. The country's Gini coefficient screams of economic injustice that cuts across racial lines. Poor Black South Africans bear the brunt of violence, a fact conveniently ignored by these inflammatory narratives.

The controversial "Kill the Boer" song? It's been legally recognized as a historical anti-apartheid anthem, not a literal call to violence. South African courts protected it as free speech in 2022. But nuance doesn't sell clickbait, does it?

What makes this situation explosive is the massive platforms these liars command. Elon Musk owns a global social media platform. Donald Trump wielded presidential power. Their words aren't just words – they're weapons that can incite real-world violence.

By promoting this false narrative of white genocide, they're not just lying – they're providing ammunition to white supremacist groups worldwide. They're deliberately inflaming racial tensions in a country still healing from the deep wounds of apartheid. South Africa faces enormous challenges: high crime rates, extreme inequality, ongoing economic disparities. These are complex issues that require nuanced understanding and collaborative solutions. What they absolutely do not need is billionaires and foreign politicians weaponizing half-truths and outright lies.

The real genocide here is the ongoing massacre of truth, the systematic destruction of complexity in favor of inflammatory soundbites. And that's a crime against humanity far more insidious than any fabricated racial narrative.

FUBAHRTDA: Fucked Up By All Hegseth’s Recognition, the Drunk AssFuck.

The stench of bureaucratic failure is so thick you could slice it with a combat knife. Feel the burning embarrassment radiating off these so-called "top officials" like a nuclear-grade heat wave. Roger Stone's voice cuts through the air like shattered glass, his words slicing into the putrid flesh of government incompetence – these dipshits think Signal is some magical cone of silence? Fuck that noise! Imagine the metallic taste of pure, unadulterated _panic_ when Jeffrey Goldberg - that Atlantic editor - gets accidentally dumped into a military group chat so _monumentally_ stupid it makes a kindergarten gossip circle look like top-secret CIA ops. The _sound_? A symphony of _OH SHIT_ as Vice President Vance and Defense Secretary Hegseth realize they've just served up military plans on a silver platter, garnished with classified sauce.

The details burn like acid:

  1. Weapons specifics? Served Up.

  2. Airstrike targets? Broacasted to the world.

  3. Timing? Blown Wide Fucking Open

You can _smell_ the desperation - that acrid mix of flop sweat and political panic. The military's operational security isn't just compromised; it's been gang-raped by its own stupidity! Rep. Don Bacon's voice scratches like sandpaper against raw nerve endings - Russia and China have probably been _masturbating_ to these leaked details faster than you can say "national security breach". The Democrats are screaming for heads to roll, their voices a cacophony of righteous indignation that could shatter goddamn windows.

And House Speaker Mike Johnson? That motherfucker has the audacity to look calm, his confidence so thick you could spread it on toast. The National Security Council's spokesperson confirms the authenticity with all the emotional range of a goddamn spreadsheet._Touch_ the raw nerve of institutional failure. _Hear_ the deafening silence of accountability. _Taste_ the metallic fear of exposure. _Smell_ the burning wreckage of military confidentiality. _See_ the complete and total implosion of trust. Hegseth denies everything, calling Goldberg "deceitful" - as if that's going to plug this gushing wound of institutional incompetence. President Trump maintains confidence? HAH! That's like being confident in a screen door on a submarine.

Digital Dynamite: When National Security Bleeds Vulnerability

The stench of incompetence reeks like rotting meat in the halls of power. Roger Stone's explosive revelation burns like acid through the thin veneer of governmental security – a digital grenade that tears apart the illusion of confidentiality with razor-sharp precision.

Imagine the acrid taste of betrayal: Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, drunk on digital false security, spills military secrets into an encrypted chat so carelessly it makes your skin crawl. The cold, metallic click of potential disaster echoes through every keystroke – Russian and Chinese intelligence sharks circling, their digital teeth gleaming with predatory anticipation.

The sound is deafening: classified air strike details leaking like blood from an open wound, each word a potential death sentence for military operations. The vibration of potential catastrophe rumbles beneath your feet, a tectonic shift of national security vulnerability. Stone's warning cuts like broken glass: "Americans should assume everything you write can ultimately be accessed."

Citations

  1. Cochran, L. 2025 “‘Borrowers have zero power:’ Trump moving student loans to SBA sparks concern, confusion" The Hill.

  2. Fortinsky, S. 2025 "FBI launches Tesla vandalism task force" The Hill.

  3. Beitsch, R. 2025 "Top Intel Democrat calls for Hegseth and Waltz to resign" The Hill.

  4. Imray, G. 2025. "South Africa president says persecution of whites a ‘false narrative’ as Musk repeats genocide claim" The Hill

  5. Crisp, E. 2025 “Roger Stone criticizes Trump officials over war plans group chat” The Hill

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