The Setup
In the grim shadows of Gotham, two titans prepare for battle. On one side, the Dark Knight, protector of the innocent, master detective, and billionaire vigilante. On the other, the 45th and 47th President of the United States, real estate mogul, and reality TV star turned political juggernaut.
As Trump steps out of his golden helicopter onto the roof of Wayne Tower, he adjusts his red tie and squints into the darkness. "Where's the Bat? Afraid to face me? Sad!"
With Preparation
Batman has had two weeks to prepare for this confrontation. During this time, he's analyzed every second of Trump's TV appearances, studied his movements at rallies, and hacked into Secret Service files to understand his security protocols.
Meanwhile, Trump has been tweeting furiously about "Corrupt Batman" and how Gotham would be better with him in charge. His preparation consists mainly of watching Fox News segments about Batman's alleged crimes and ordering his new Secret Service detail to "get me something to beat this bat-freak with."
The fight unfolds:
Trump charges forward with surprising agility for a man his age, swinging a golf club wildly. "I'm gonna make Gotham great again, you sonofabitch!" Batman simply sidesteps, using a batarang to slice through Trump's tie. "My favorite tie! That's assault! ASSAULT!"
Batman activates a small device that plays back Trump's most embarrassing moments from hot mics and debates. The psychological warfare works – Trump becomes enraged, his face turning a shade of crimson that rivals his tie. "That's fake news, you goddamn costumed freak!" He hurls his MAGA hat like a frisbee, which Batman catches and crushes.
As Trump lunges forward again, Batman deploys a foam that hardens instantly, trapping Trump up to his chest. "I've studied your tax returns," Batman growls. "The real ones." Trump's eyes widen in horror as Batman leans in to whisper exactly how much the former president is actually worth. Trump passes out from the shock.
Analysis: With preparation, Batman demolishes Trump. The Dark Knight's strategic mind, combined with his physical prowess and technological advantage, makes this an extremely one-sided affair. Trump's only strategy – loud bluster and attempted intimidation – falls flat against someone who regularly faces psychopathic killers with painted faces.
Without Preparation
Both combatants stumble upon each other at a Gotham charity gala. Bruce Wayne is in attendance as himself, while Trump is there to claim he donated more than he actually did.
When Trump spots Wayne and begins making disparaging remarks about "trust fund babies who don't know how to make real money," Bruce is forced to maintain his playboy persona. However, when Trump starts insulting Alfred, all bets are off.
The fight unfolds:
Bruce leads Trump to a secluded balcony, where the president immediately takes off his jacket and rolls up his sleeves. "I've been in the WWE Hall of Fame, you know that? I'm gonna kick your ass, Wayne!" Bruce dodges Trump's wild haymaker, which sends the president spinning into a waiter carrying champagne. "Motherfucker! This suit is worth more than your butler makes in a year!"
Trump grabs a champagne bottle and smashes it, wielding the broken glass. "Come here, rich boy!" Bruce, still maintaining cover, pretends to cower before "accidentally" knocking over a table that sends Trump sprawling face-first into a cake. "My hair! My beautiful fucking hair!"
As security approaches, Trump lunges one last time, tripping over his own feet and crashing through the balcony railing. Bruce catches him by his ankle at the last second, dangling him several stories above the street. "For someone who claims to have built so many buildings," Bruce says calmly, "you should know better than to rely on cheap craftsmanship."
Analysis: Even without preparation and unable to use his Batman persona, Bruce Wayne handles Trump with minimal effort. Trump's bluster and aggression count for nothing against Wayne's years of martial arts training and physical conditioning. Wayne's restraint is what's most impressive here – not breaking character while still teaching the president a lesson in humility.
The Verdict
Whether prepared or unprepared, Batman/Bruce Wayne dominates this confrontation. Trump's aggressive style and verbal attacks prove ineffective against Batman's calculated approach and Wayne's trained reflexes.
As Gotham's newspapers would report the next day: "WAYNE SAVES PRESIDENT FROM BALCONY FALL" while the tabloids would run with "TRUMP GETS BATSLAPPED: PRESIDENT CLAIMS 'I LET HIM WIN'"
In the end, Trump returns to the White House with a bruised ego and dry-cleaning bill, while Batman adds another unlikely victory to his already impressive resume. As Alfred would later remark while treating Bruce's minor injuries (all sustained while saving Trump from himself): "Perhaps next time, sir, you could face someone more challenging... like one of the penguin's henchmen?"